I'm here!

From leaving home, i discover that there are something that can't swim, can't fly, doesn't have passport cannot go overseas. And most of the time, I don't mean human. So what's the big deal. Something just have their limitations...can't blame them, can i?

I look at being here, away from home like a sabbatical, 9 months here, then home and another nine months then home again and repeat that four times. It's not that hard to imagine, you just have to emphasize on the home part. The easy way to do it, is just brainwash yourself. The surprisingly easy part was that I don't actually get too caught up here. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, and they are a.w.e.s.o.m.e. but i am just determined that i will be home.

So yea...obvious things stood out, friendship, crushes, hatred, sworn relationship of any kind, dreams and wishes, abstract things. In your life, can they swim?

I don't think all of mine do, but there is just something you gotta give.

Thank God He can swim and fly and has a passport can go overseas. =)

-Va is here & there & everywhere-

The Place I Call Home

It is not necessary perfect in other people's eyes, sometimes even in my eyes. But there is a place, like no other, that I call home. It doesn't matter if you are miles and miles away. It calls you, waves to you, never forgets you and waits for you. Always.

The place I call home is where there are these wonderful people, each that I can put a face to in the perfect photo frame. Each shining brightly with smiles and warmth. They who wait, who love me and cover me in prayers and protect me. These are the ones who had watched me grow; seeing through my weaknesses and faults, they have loved me the same. To you, you and you, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

The weather is always nice and warm, where we ran and laugh and sweat. The place we grew up, with trees and games and sand and water. And oh the tree, the tree that rained beautiful little flowers just for me. Like presents in the rainy days, sunshines which fell from the heaven and got caught up in the water. I love you, I love you so.

Home, is truely like a fairy tale, where you sing song to music made out of the air around you, and dance around while flowers open up with each step you take. People who greet and love and smile and hug. They who bring me encouragement and He who gives me strength. A little den where even the storms are pretty and the crocodiles are friendly.

I love you home, you, you, you and You. You are my homes.


I love you and miss you so,
Eva

Just human

Some people have there great discovery about life way early and lost the enthusiasm for it and some never found the purpose why they exist. So what's the whole big deal about finding the purpose then. We're just mere human anyways.

Human who gets hurt, hype, happy, depressed, carefree, distressed, sound, insane... The thing is, it all comes down to a point. We just want to be loved, encouraged and appreciated. Bottomline is just acceptance. Mere human. We are that simple.

Quote: Life is like a conversation, it's crazy if you do it alone.

-Eva-

Mom's

It's mother's day this week...she went to bed like any other ordinary night. By ordinary, it meant with an empty house, all her children were not by her side, scattered across the globe, the comfort of knowing them having better education was overwhelm by the fact she no longer can open the doors of their bedroom and sneak a peek at her three sleeping children.

Her husband lied at her side, snoring away as usual, her eyes were as heavy as her heart...

Then there was a sound of her cooking, a mother at the stove, stirring away some yummy dinner waiting for her children to return home. Her cooking had always worked the magic, the trick of getting the children home in time for dinner. And it worked, she can hear the slamming of the heavy wooden front door in the midst of the sizzle of the food in her pan. Ian came in and slipped his head out behind the door frame, with a big grin on his face, his signature grin that makes his eye shrink to a thin line. "What's cooking mommyyy..." He said with his clingy voice, this boy had never grew out of his love for mom. She smiled and signalled him to come on in to the kitchen. He just stood at the door and smiled.

Whoosh, she woke up in the dark, even more conscious than she is in the day. Realising that Ian is half a globe away, she could barely calm herself down. But the tiredness of her body after a long day at work drove her back to sleep.

She walked into the television room, the best room for afternoon naps in the heat of the day. The fan was making the sound as it cut through the hot air. Eva was lying on sideways on the couch, as she always did after college. She would just watch television until she falls asleep and the scent of the dinner cooking would wake her up. Mom knows her best. Her routine which does not involve revision had always worried her. She walked into the room, her daughter on the couch breathing steadily. Mom stooped down beside her, and put her arms around her daughter who used to be so small when she was born prematurely, now a young lady, even taller than mom herself.

Whoosh, she shrieked herself awake again. She couldn't hold it back, the thought sipped in like water in the flood, her children were no longer by her side, and tears dropped from her weak eyes.

She is my mom; and I am not by her side. I am so sorry, mom. No matter how bad a present I had bring to her for her special days, I realize now that the presence is more precious than anything else, just being with her means the world to her, and to me too.

......................................

Thank you for giving me your eyes, your nose, your smile, your hands...your love, your time and every shining moment of my life.



慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖？


妈~等我回家！





-不孝女-

Welcome the Negative

EEEEkkk~! Headng out now..weather forecast -> -1 degree tonight.

Yes, my 1st negative night.. ooo 加油加油~！

-Va-

Magnificient

Look, The Brilliant Light!

............................................

Two things that I realize among the darkness that I've been through...

That a light, merely a light will not shine through, only a light too brilliant for the darkness will break through the clouds and make a magnificient mark;

That when it does, shine through, only when it shines through, you will realize it is the Light because of its contrast to the darkness.

............................................

He is the Light; He who is one and different. Holy and ever-loving. That is because He is too bright to be contrasted. So bright that there is no darkness.

-Jesus Christ-

He is the light, because he shines, a gentle light, and always shine. Even when I least expected.

-My father-

He is my light, because he is with me, he tells me his everyday life...share with me bits of his thoughts and his smiles.

-My special friend-

He is a strange light, like one that you might only encounter once or twice in a long time. Not a particular light that is close to heart, but nonetheless a help sent in time.

-The good Samaritan-

Ah, look, what a brilliant light.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross quoted.

-Eva-

Wait?

But what are you waiting for?

Deep breathe. I am opening the wound.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I am an idiot. A selfish, dumb, distracted jerk. For once I am not going to blame anything else. What do I have to lose anyway, I've probably ruin everything by now. I am so terribly sorry. I do not know what you saw in me, but I think I have probably lost it now. I am so sorry I left and I am so sorry you have to see me go away. I am sorry I have needed you so much, I am sorry I did not love you enough to protect you from my harm. I know I am a ticking time bomb that will one day turn my selfish back and try my best not to look back.

I miss the time when we can be together like old friends, even when I don't get your jokes and when you don't get mine. I miss the time when we can pick on the food we like to eat and make excuses to go out for lunch. I even miss the moments when they thought we are together and picked on us. I would like to go back to that moment.

I think I will like your shoulder to lean on and to talk to you a lot. But I cannot bring myself to say I love you or any mushy things that can be said. I don't want you to wait, I would like you to love somebody else. Someone who would actually love you back and bring you joy and shower you with her smiles. And yes I do get jealous even when I thought of those words that I am going to write.

No, I do not know what I feel, I think I just really like you.

-all the bad names you ever called me-

Freaks

It's supposed to be "internet".

As if there aren't enough freaks in my life already. Why do people speak or write or type english when they obviously can't.



Examples:
1. The right way: "How are you?"
The wrong way: "hey, how u going?"
Comment: Go where?

2. The right way: "Would you mind to be my friend?"
The wrong way: "can we make a friend?"
Comment: If you expect me to make a baby with you and befriend the baby and
you, you're nuts and positively a pervert too. Make a friend. Crap.

3. The right way: "I am fine." or "I am doing very well."
The wrong way: "I am in the well."
Comment: Great, why don't you tell me how do you get there?

Aww shucks. Shut up if you can't speak properly.



Eat my sock,
Eva

miss you much

It's weird. I sit here waiting for the dawn. I just saw it off Grey's Anatomy, "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?...because it feels sooo good when I'm not". I like the sound of it. It reminds me why do I torture myself with taking 3 majors in the first year of a real university (not some crappy pre-U tuition-like college) in a foreign country, living off with no friends using my second language as a mean of communication. No friends. Unless you count my sister.

Except you can't, at least not now, because she is off fishing in some cold place. So, it's just me. Alone. With no possitive human contact. It's just the internet, television, some nice books, some not so nice book, some really bad books, some old thick library books, a bed, a kitchen with so much food that it can last me throught World War Three if it happens now and me. Sounds like crap eh. My first holiday in Christchurch.

So what if the dawn appears now. I don't know... It seems like it doesn't matter so much to me anymore. Not like when I was back home. Like how it matters to me that the little yellow flowers flood the fronts of the house, and only our house after the rain. It only mattered because it made daddy smiled and force me to go out and take some pictures with him. So what if the dawn appears now. It doesn't matter... not like it did when I was looking down waiting for the light behind his curtain to light up.

What if it rains... There is no more sound of the basketball bouncing in the court. In fact, there is not even a court. What if it rains... I don't get to drive you guys home in my car. Because the car...it is sold now. So what if I cry... I don't have your arms to fall back to... Because I am here. What if I am sad... I don't get to see Joshua and forget about the whole big mass of mess. So if we see new moves on the TV, we don't dance anymore.

I miss home. I miss you. Perhaps I should not look back so much if it makes me sad, but how can I not when I can only find my home and see familiar faces looking back.

Then I realise... when I understand that, I don't need bad times to help me recognise the good ones.



Buckets of misses,
Va

BoA's MV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn1Iim7XK2M

Pretty cool moves eh.