something killed me

something killed me. I don't know what. I just realized that I died. when? I have no idea. Proabably before I was drunk.

something killed me. this family. differ in beliefs won't split the family, it's the sceptical opinion against my belief that would. It's not the misunderstanding that breaks the bond, it's the unwillingness to understand that does. you killed me. did you notice?

something killed me. my best friend. hugs and kisses never heals me, they healed you. of guilt. neglect,ignore,absence...feel familiar with these words? Shh... I died, did you notice?

something killed me. my friends. did you know me? my inexistent, my invisiblity...shh...something killed me, could you hear me? empty people..could you understand me? something killed me...

something killed me. this world. strange strange world. a place of weirdness, of non-believing, of non-belonging, of unknowing, of non-living, of non-existing; a place of in-betweens, teared between. this world, you killed me, did you notice?

something killed me. this life. never ending, of slow creep. of silent nights, of cold hearts, of lonely meals. such lengthy story. which part killed me? my life. please tell me.

something killed me. this dream. I'd always loved this dream, sweet calm peaceful nightmare. long long dream...when did i sleep? after I died? but my dreams killed me. how could this be?

something killed me. these songs. of my life. hmm..mm....big girls don't cry...50 miles to go and she was running low, on faith and gasoline....hello there, the angel from my nightmare...this innocence is brilliant, I hope that it could stay.....I'm not missing you....my scars reminds me, the past is real.... come on, sing along, pieces of words that made up my life, my life that killed me.

something killed me. can anyone see? can anybody tell me? I killed me. my cold hand, my stuffed heart, my drunken brain.

I killed me. somebody save me...Father, save me.


dead bloggaphile: certified death 8.00a.m. 7.6.1989
-va-