Wow...it seems like it had been quite a while since I am stuck in this kind of mood, you know, the weird drunken mode when I write stuff that me myself barely understand. Okay, it's a lie, I understand everything I write quite well. Haha..it's just that it sound much better to say that I don't.
Yep, big deal. Things changed. I haven't been saying good morning to the guy that lives near the highway. I guess it was just awkward, you know, it's just like you have been stuck in that same situation with that same guy then you both decided, yea, maybe we should just give it a try. AND, nope, it didn't happen. It's obvious and um, it's just so clear. Like in movies, when the one of the character will says, "We both know it's not working.." and means it.
Then there is the thing about me leaving soon. No more big beautiful house, no more blogging midnight looking at the bridge or the big old tree outside, no more driving home alone in my gorgeous '97 Audi in the highway, no more beach parties with the crazy guys. And hello to another romantic scenery in my life. I guess writing makes all the things around us romantic. Like where I will be going. The place itself is romantic even without the writing, it's just that it fits very well to the plot of my life time story in this blog. That is if you have been following it since day one.
There will be trees, a gorgeous english house, a glass patio, a garden, a university, a place with autumn and winter with snow, a cozy room, some books, a few nights when I will be pulling all-nighter studying hard, a long walk to school... you know. And why wouldn't I be happy. Everything's well planned.
Yea, I should be happy, shouldn't I?
I guess it's just me who is struggling with that question.