Friday, April 24, 2009


Look, The Brilliant Light!


Two things that I realize among the darkness that I've been through...

That a light, merely a light will not shine through, only a light too brilliant for the darkness will break through the clouds and make a magnificient mark;

That when it does, shine through, only when it shines through, you will realize it is the Light because of its contrast to the darkness.


He is the Light; He who is one and different. Holy and ever-loving. That is because He is too bright to be contrasted. So bright that there is no darkness.

-Jesus Christ-

He is the light, because he shines, a gentle light, and always shine. Even when I least expected.

-My father-

He is my light, because he is with me, he tells me his everyday life...share with me bits of his thoughts and his smiles.

-My special friend-

He is a strange light, like one that you might only encounter once or twice in a long time. Not a particular light that is close to heart, but nonetheless a help sent in time.

-The good Samaritan-

Ah, look, what a brilliant light.


Friday, April 17, 2009


But what are you waiting for?

Deep breathe. I am opening the wound.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I am an idiot. A selfish, dumb, distracted jerk. For once I am not going to blame anything else. What do I have to lose anyway, I've probably ruin everything by now. I am so terribly sorry. I do not know what you saw in me, but I think I have probably lost it now. I am so sorry I left and I am so sorry you have to see me go away. I am sorry I have needed you so much, I am sorry I did not love you enough to protect you from my harm. I know I am a ticking time bomb that will one day turn my selfish back and try my best not to look back.

I miss the time when we can be together like old friends, even when I don't get your jokes and when you don't get mine. I miss the time when we can pick on the food we like to eat and make excuses to go out for lunch. I even miss the moments when they thought we are together and picked on us. I would like to go back to that moment.

I think I will like your shoulder to lean on and to talk to you a lot. But I cannot bring myself to say I love you or any mushy things that can be said. I don't want you to wait, I would like you to love somebody else. Someone who would actually love you back and bring you joy and shower you with her smiles. And yes I do get jealous even when I thought of those words that I am going to write.

No, I do not know what I feel, I think I just really like you.

-all the bad names you ever called me-

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


It's supposed to be "internet".

As if there aren't enough freaks in my life already. Why do people speak or write or type english when they obviously can't.

1. The right way: "How are you?"
The wrong way: "hey, how u going?"
Comment: Go where?

2. The right way: "Would you mind to be my friend?"
The wrong way: "can we make a friend?"
Comment: If you expect me to make a baby with you and befriend the baby and
you, you're nuts and positively a pervert too. Make a friend. Crap.

3. The right way: "I am fine." or "I am doing very well."
The wrong way: "I am in the well."
Comment: Great, why don't you tell me how do you get there?

Aww shucks. Shut up if you can't speak properly.

Eat my sock,

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

miss you much

It's weird. I sit here waiting for the dawn. I just saw it off Grey's Anatomy, "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?...because it feels sooo good when I'm not". I like the sound of it. It reminds me why do I torture myself with taking 3 majors in the first year of a real university (not some crappy pre-U tuition-like college) in a foreign country, living off with no friends using my second language as a mean of communication. No friends. Unless you count my sister.

Except you can't, at least not now, because she is off fishing in some cold place. So, it's just me. Alone. With no possitive human contact. It's just the internet, television, some nice books, some not so nice book, some really bad books, some old thick library books, a bed, a kitchen with so much food that it can last me throught World War Three if it happens now and me. Sounds like crap eh. My first holiday in Christchurch.

So what if the dawn appears now. I don't know... It seems like it doesn't matter so much to me anymore. Not like when I was back home. Like how it matters to me that the little yellow flowers flood the fronts of the house, and only our house after the rain. It only mattered because it made daddy smiled and force me to go out and take some pictures with him. So what if the dawn appears now. It doesn't matter... not like it did when I was looking down waiting for the light behind his curtain to light up.

What if it rains... There is no more sound of the basketball bouncing in the court. In fact, there is not even a court. What if it rains... I don't get to drive you guys home in my car. Because the is sold now. So what if I cry... I don't have your arms to fall back to... Because I am here. What if I am sad... I don't get to see Joshua and forget about the whole big mass of mess. So if we see new moves on the TV, we don't dance anymore.

I miss home. I miss you. Perhaps I should not look back so much if it makes me sad, but how can I not when I can only find my home and see familiar faces looking back.

Then I realise... when I understand that, I don't need bad times to help me recognise the good ones.

Buckets of misses,

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Remember this?

Here's some pics for guys means a lot to me. Everyone, everytime, everything that is in my past, present & gonna be in my future. I heart you.


Preparation for 2007 WGC first ever concert...Hanging up the banner. =)

Chinese New Year...Girls heh.

One of my favourite pics of the girls. Everyone look so natural and pretty.

Ling, Sera & Pam over at my place for sleepover. Haha...Pics with the furry patch n booster.. We should do it again sometime.

After watch night service..2008's first dawn. Good morning starbucks.
[in the pic: Sam, Marc, Eva, Emma, Fu, Pam, Mikey, Paul Paul.]

Youth Worship Team...I think that's the first pic that started the tradition of taking photos after sunday service for the youth team. Rockers eh. So proud ^^.

[In the pic: (Top) Li, Yan, Sam, Fu, Paul, (Bottom) Ling, Pam, Eva, Seraphina.]

Another photo of our closely knitted worship team.. Eva, Ling, Pam, Sera, Li, Paul, Fu and Jireh.

The demons & our victim. In preparation for Lifehouse's Everything sketch.

[Sera, Pam, Eva, Ling & Tanya]

Youth Worship Team pic, see the significant growth from the 1st one?...

[Li, Jon Raj, Jireh, Fu, Kesavan, Pam, Han Wen, Han Sern, Eva, Gabriel, Jason Raj, Caleb, Wilson]

The girls - The dance performance for Bro. Samuel's wedding. Suzzane, Eva, Pam & Krystle. We look like 4 little girls in dancing outfit right..heh. Miss that dance..I still have the song. =)

Crashing Ian's Prom night with Sue Lin & Li Wei.

Our last cellgroup pic. It's supposed to be in the TOG Year book. Lol..

[Top row: Ming Ling, Santa Maria, Sue Lin. Mid row: Nicholas, Pam, Sue Ann, Krystle, Eva, Siew Ling & Yan being pushed. Bottom row: Alvin & Peter]
Sue Lin still had her long hair & Krystle was still in Penang. Peter hadn't went to TAR yet.

Good old times.

Ming Ling's birthday in cellgroup meeting - Carlston, Alvin, Hui Ming, Ming Ling, Pamelyn, Sue Lin, Sui Yan, Eva, Sue Ann.

TOG Youth BBQ in 2007 - theme: Heat it up. Adam was still around, Paul bullied me!! ISH ISH.

One fine Sunday afternoon with TOG Youth...just a fine fine day..can'y remember the occasion.

National Day - Merdeka~!

Pam & me in traditional clothings.

Han Sern & Paul in Batik. Pastor Michelle & Tanya in Punjabi Suits, Pam & Jayanthi in Saree, Eva in Cheongsam.

TOG 26th Anniversary

Part of our dance. *Top on Li & smile* Heyy let's boogie~

Haha...yes, it's an electic guitar, yes it's a saree. Indeed, what a combination.

Jireh. Kaki rocker's side came out le.. nice jump~

Girls Day + Farewell

After the youth farewell for Yan, Pam, Suji & me. Me & mommy during the jamming session after service. =P

Ah Yan. Kaki rocker.

Ah Fu. Another kaki rocker. Lol.

Jon Jon, AKA Tonten AKA Jonathan Raj, kaki rocker who breaks drumsticks like nobody's business.

Jireh Chan..kaki hip hop and our all time solo-parts-guitarist. One day he will break his little fingers playing guitar and it will be our fault.

Ah Yan...err..stuffing up biscuits during the forfeit. His 食相...Haha.

Nehe the drama queen...what's the dilemma dude?

Oh man, even ah jie oso lidat... serious case eh.

Seow Jie's make-over. Failed badly, don't ask. LOL it's so totally our fault.

Silas was enjoying himself.

Praising God no matter what we do to their faces. Hiak hiak hiak.

Trying to vandalise our church's lantern. Show off. He thinks he ada learn Taekwando then pastor won't knock his head.

Ignore me. Look at the hungry person behind. LOL.

WGC 2008 Concert - HEB1228

The T-Shirt. So proud. Jesus-pride. Way to go!

Jonathan Raj...The sunday morning before the concert. Big smile~!

Fu's getting into the teeth quenching mood.

Limited edition dog tags with personalised printed name. Paul's and his metrosexual shirt.

Baby Michael.

Hee...miss him so much. Soft soft de. Always can't recognise the right person and hug me..thinking I am mummy. Come beee, come here~ *big hug*

My boyfriend..Joshua & Pam.

Gonna grow up to be a handsome babe & the best part, he's my beee~

Neh neh neh neh neh~

Joshua Chan Yong Le

Aunty Adeline & Joshua's Mom.

Samuel Lim Seong Peng.

And there we go.

The dance crew.

Happy ending~ Laid back big smile group photo.

Everybody's thinking hard like Pooh. Phink...phink.. even Joshua..XD

A candid shot.

Custom T with name for concert crews. Jireh's. Mine is with Eva.L at the exact same corner. They copy me de. Hehe.

Pei Wen all smiley in the concert's after party.

HEB 1228 Concert's After Party

Pffttt~~ look at the crowd!

Peeps from BM extension church going home. Ta~

2008 WGC Christmas Party

Traditional Youth Annual pic during Christmas. Joshua in my arms~ the crazy version. Hype!

A proper version. XD

Joshua & Eva...naughty baby showing the food in his mouth.

Jireh Chan beh tong his little brother. Haha.. Big bully.

A decent couple pic at last. <3

Paul paul, my maid servant with my pink "CREW" cap.

Tanya baby witha big smile. =D

Introduction before ice-breaker. [ Pam, Sam, Eva & Fu, yes, in that order.]

Before & After Photos from the ice breaker

Before: Vibrant Caleb Chan

After: Ah Kua smuggled in from Thailand. Miss Tiffany Chan.

Before: Jireh Chan Yi-Le (love food, rock songs & hip hop, definitely not gay) with Jonathan Tew.

After: Stripper from Penang's infamous Love Lane.

Before: Our youngest drummer, Jonathan Raj, breaks drumsticks and rock the drum like how someone would sing in the shower.

After: To look at it in a positive way, a black scottish in a kilt.

Aren't we just glad it's over~! LOL. Nah...had a great time. Feliz navidad babes!

Snake & Ladder Outdoor Game

Hehe.. "EH Emma, the cameraman spotted us leh."


Han Wen ^-^V

Good splash! What a view.

We were the winning group. Humph. Why the splash.

Group pic~ Big smile peeps!

Look at me..nyiak hahaaa, show off.

eh? somebody fell.

Retarded pic

TOG/WGC Tale-Racter Camp 2008

The Awesome 7 minus Andrew who went to chase after Fiona, who was in hot pants at the last day of class.

Andrew imitating Princess Gizelle. Hehe... love the funny man.

Alex and the gay pose. Obviously, he forced me into it. Sprained my jaw for a week because of that.

Proud sons, Francis, my friend of 15 years. And Aanand, my son.


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