Thursday, April 2, 2009

When do you know that it has taken the tow on you

When you are surrounded by people whom you don't know.
When you are always confused and blank out most of the time.
When your faith is being called a blind faith.
When you lost your work and find youself shaking in front of the blank screened computer.
When you have no other ways than the long way.
When even the long way doesn't even seems like the right way.
When you find youself in between crossroads every two seconds after you escape the last one.
When you finally got the answer and find that it is the wrong one.
When you have stayed up for long that when you can finally sleep, you can't even bare to close those eyes.
When you call and no one answers.
When you walk and the road never ends.
When he was here and now he's gone.
When you lost something so important but you felt nothing.
When you figure out feeling nothing means something's wrong.
When you have no time for meals and by the time you reach out for food, you actually feel sick looking at them.
When you are all worn out from the inside out.
When you are left with no words to say but I am sorry, call me when you're ready to talk.
When you feel like a selfish opportunist and no one tells you you are not.
When your brain is running on autopilot even in a post that is supposed to be emotional.
When you hurt someone and when they say it, you are at a blank point with a mixture of guilt, burden, depression and heartache.
When the heartache is not love.
When you have no idea what love is.

In the inside, finally, I finally gave a shriek and let out a yelp before fainting to the ground. Nobody comes. Nobody would come because you just called the last one to go away.

Too bad for you,

In the memory of ..... this post will have no label.

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