Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Simple Life this is New Zealand. Actually, it depends on how you look at it, in some ways it is more happening* than Penang, or can be rather lame. If you're into beer, gigs, getting drunk, woot, you're in the right place. OR you can be into retirement, dairy products, hunting, fishing and super cold weather.

So far it's okay to me...I guess, since it's a phase, not my home. Yi Yern say my uni is hebat. I guess, the science library has a nap't be too bad eh. So here's some pics:

School of Law
Law Library

The Central Library

Haha..yea that's all. Don't blame me now, looks darn stupid taking picture in the library kay. *Chi Chak* then the ang moh all turn to look at me.

Er..more next time. Cheers!


Thursday, March 19, 2009

A Friendly Reminder has been awhile since I last mention about this matter. Dearest readers, if you don't already know, the blogger of this blog is a somewhat self-righteous, proud, most of the time self-centered and a sneaky opportunist. Ever since I left Malaysia, I confess that I think a lot about myself, to some extend I doubt my intentions of doing things are to grab people's attention. As days went by, I guess I have somehow left out an important fact of life.

Yes, I live for Him! How could I ever forget, always praying that I will be a living sacrifice, to sit on the altar and willingly submit to my God. I am so glad that He reminds me once again, I had meant what I pray. And the thing is when I was asked if I am doing what I prayed...I could not give a good enough answer. I did, undeniably let the idea of living to be the good and faithful servant slip. My results must have look somewhat nasty on my result sheet of daily serving and devotion.

Yet He was gentle in his words, giving me the privilege of realising all these matters. My Father had not release his wrath and disappointment in my life. He had not shut the door of my daily provision, he had been faithful...just like he promised to be. It scares me that I have problems being humble, I have trouble acknowledging that other people are just as precious in God's eyes.

So my purpose in life is not to be the beautiful, the popular, the genius, the rich brat, or any of those thing I tried to be. My purpose in life to to love, to love the people around me, to love my God, that everyday of my life, every action and intention, they should ever bring praise and glory to him, they should be accountable in my life of servanthood. And let this be the best form of worship to Him.

I want to obey Your ways, o Lord. My heart longs to be in your presence again. I want to live to be a better person, to bring glory to you.. For everything you have done in my life, this is the least I can do. I miss you Father, fill my heart with your spirit again.

-in thirst and desparation for restoration and to be renewed-

Monday, March 16, 2009

No time no time

You know what's the good thing about now? Now as in, I have 2 assignments due on Thursday, one skill test tomorrow and 2 more assignments due next week and err..wait correct de and 2 more due end of this month, which is the week after. So gai rght. Oh yea and my scholarship form. Daddy please don't read this thing. ARGHH~

Good thing is I have no time. NO TIME NO TIME. So no time for homesickness, no time to think about all the touchy feely lovey dovey, no time to even dig a hole and bury myself inside. So why am I here? Because I have no time mah. Er.. yea. That's why I am here. Nothing to justify that one. Now everyday is like I'm sucking in this whole new uni air. Since I have to walk to school, so I guess I must have sucked in a lot. The air, you know, like bunch of people rushing between classes AND when you don't have class, rush to the library or computer lab to get the work typed out. The air. Yes. Incredible.

Talk about walking, hmm...I'm gonna go take a look at a secondhand bike tomorrow, hopefully I can buy it and start cycling to school so I can sleep in for another 5 minutes or so. Which also reminds me, daddy said he is sending a package of my stuff over, which includes a bicycle helmet. And I think it takes at least 2 weeks. Crap buy liao cannot use. *drool*

ARGH. What's wrong with all these stupid crawlies. We get so may of them around the house. Especially flies, one of those fellas got into the bathroom with me when I was bathing. If I have more time I will do the same thing to that pitiful little brainless DEAD bug who tried to bite me before chinese new year back in Malaysia. Hmph...they don't know who they are messing with. Which reminds me again, even if they do, they won't care less because I have no time to kill them.

Crap. Signing off now. Skill test calling my name liao.

-No time to type my name here la-

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Autumn has come and I am still stuck in summer, somehow unwilling to tear myself away from all that has been happening before. The weather finally releasing its unkindness, parallel to the guilty conscience burried within me. Seeing the things around me, looking at the things to realise that I had been so selfish. When I thought all was about me, that things evolve around me, and not the other way round.

It brings fear to me. That I may be just as selfish right here, right now. Leaving with such courage that I finally mustered, regardless of wherever it came from, hollow or not, refusing to fall back on anything and so unwilling to even prepare some form of safety net. I did not expect you. I did not expect you. I really didn't.

Yes I do secretly want a lot of things, greed for some luxuries that I cannot afford. Like a person to stand beside me, perhaps a shoulder, or just the mere presence and some clingy-ness. I cannot afford any of them. It does mean a lot when you came and be so kind to me. But I cannot take it from you, I don't want to take advantage of you, occupying your thoughts, your time and your space. If anything, I just want you to be happy, to be of less worry, especially of me. You should be doing great things and doing fun things, not spending time with me.

You ask me if you should wait...if I want you to wait. Selfishly, yes, I want you to wait, to be there for me, who would want their special someone who be strolling off somewhere but I cannot promise you anything, I can barely give you anything. The last thing I want is for this to get worse. Yes, I would like to have you in my winter, share some secrets with you, be around and be nice to you, I won't mind sharing my space with you, staying up late to hear you talk...but these I can't afford.

So we are somehow lost but not so lost. Thus we spend our time together in prayer, and knowing each other. So we will learn and grow and wait. That's the sweetest thing, we will wait.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Back at me

Painful irony. I used to laugh at people for all of their misfortune and everything that comes in exactly at the worst timing. Not at any person particularly, probably just the sacarcsm of event. How things that evolve around us play a silly embarassing joke back at us, and how human turns out to be so helpless and dumb founded. Who knows that somehow it would turn its target on me. Not so funny now isn't it. Actually it still is, and not for the first time I found myself smiling painfully at my reflection.

What a strange place this is. What strange circumstances am I in. There is just so much things that I might have do them in such different way. I do wonder if it is the environment that push me to such an extend that I have no control and choice, or is it just me giving in to the helplessness that crawls in. Yes, I am uncontrollably emotional at times, it is not easy at all to be at a foreign piece of land with nothing familiar with you. Not one piece of my life feels in place with these people and places. No name rings a bell, no voice that tempt me to turn around to see and certainly no place there is that I can call home.

What am I doing here? Why am I even here? I should be at home. These changes and sceneries and people and places and every bit of strange detail is making things so complicated. Why do people say things and feel things and want things so foreign and weird?! What is wrong with me...

I want home...I just want to go home.


Related Posts with Thumbnails