Haa...it has been awhile since I last mention about this matter. Dearest readers, if you don't already know, the blogger of this blog is a somewhat self-righteous, proud, most of the time self-centered and a sneaky opportunist. Ever since I left Malaysia, I confess that I think a lot about myself, to some extend I doubt my intentions of doing things are to grab people's attention. As days went by, I guess I have somehow left out an important fact of life.
Yes, I live for Him! How could I ever forget, always praying that I will be a living sacrifice, to sit on the altar and willingly submit to my God. I am so glad that He reminds me once again, I had meant what I pray. And the thing is when I was asked if I am doing what I prayed...I could not give a good enough answer. I did, undeniably let the idea of living to be the good and faithful servant slip. My results must have look somewhat nasty on my result sheet of daily serving and devotion.
Yet He was gentle in his words, giving me the privilege of realising all these matters. My Father had not release his wrath and disappointment in my life. He had not shut the door of my daily provision, he had been faithful...just like he promised to be. It scares me that I have problems being humble, I have trouble acknowledging that other people are just as precious in God's eyes.
So my purpose..my purpose in life is not to be the beautiful, the popular, the genius, the rich brat, or any of those thing I tried to be. My purpose in life to to love, to love the people around me, to love my God, that everyday of my life, every action and intention, they should ever bring praise and glory to him, they should be accountable in my life of servanthood. And let this be the best form of worship to Him.
I want to obey Your ways, o Lord. My heart longs to be in your presence again. I want to live to be a better person, to bring glory to you.. For everything you have done in my life, this is the least I can do. I miss you Father, fill my heart with your spirit again.
-in thirst and desparation for restoration and to be renewed-