Monday, April 28, 2008

a cropped scene

This is a cropped scene from somewhere familiar, yes, Fu, it's your expected post. Haha... The story goes like these.

So, it was some time ago, after some holiday season, half of our party had to leave for somewhere else again. It was this wonderful day that we had promised to go groceries shopping together, yes, we were desparate to spend time together, at least I was. So desparate that I went at 12a.m. and got back at 3a.m. the day I got back home. I had no nap that day. Okay, back to the story, so we went together, Tesco. =D

We all got there almost at the same time, we as in, me, Pam, Yan, my godbrothers, Fu and Li, as close as a real brother, the real brother himself - Ian and oh...him. Of course the people who really had to shop was just Yan and me but it was very heart-warming for me to have the whole gang going out before I really leave. I had to head back to the camp that day. *sigh*

Well, it wasn't much of the company and all though. Ian shopped with me, the rest with Yan, Pam did come over and walked with me for a while and took a picture but that's it. We only met with the whole party before getting the trolly, at the instant noodles rack and after I paid, we met up at the register and I went off. I wasn't disappointed in any way at all but was certainly not happy with the fact that I'm the one leaving soonest...

And we didn't really said a thing at all. Probably because I didn't know what to say at that time. I am always dumbfounded when he is around and I think the whole wide world discovered that already. So that was it. I was leaving, saying goodbye to everyone. Hugged Pam.. and okay, whatever I might hallusinate about was probably not coming so I turned. With Ian by my side and let out a sigh.


"Hmm?", I turned back.

"Take care.", he said.

There you go. That's all for now.

-white girl-

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Great Rescue

The Great Rescue

What does Jesus' death have to do with working through past sexual sin? How can a gruesome crucifixion that happened two thousand years ago help when your past comes knocking today?

The answer is that the Cross is God's plan for freeing you from the guilt and punishment of your past sin. At the Cross we see both the depths of our depravity and the heights of God's amazing love for us. We witness both the terrifying intensity of God's just wrath for sin and His unspeakable mercy and love for sinners.

Why the Cross?

Because sinners have no other hope.

Why the Cross?

Because it is unassailable proof that we can be forgiven. That you already know or understand what happened there. Come to the Cross as if for the first time. In the book When God Weeps, Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson Tada give the following account of Christ's death. As you read, refuse to let the scene be familiar. Let its reality shock you nd break your heart.

The face that Moses had begged to see - was forbiden to see - was slapped bloody (Exodus 33: 19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his own brow....

"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1: 17). The victim wills that the soldier live on - he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm - the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless - the nerves perform exquisitely. "Up you go!" They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being - the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped- murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten- fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk- you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, forment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp- buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religion, traded in slaves- relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The Father watches as his heart's treasure, the mirror image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted this sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.


Don't move away too quickly from this scene. Keep gazing.

The Rescue accomplished here was for you. John Stott writes, "Before we can begin to see the cross as something done for us (leading us to faith and worship), we have too see it as something done by us (leading us to repentence)....As we face the cross, then, we can say to ourselves both "I did it; my sins sent Him there," and 'He did it; His love took Him there.' "
Did you see your own offenses on the list of sins that neccessitated the Cross? If not, name them yourself. Name your darkest sin. Now reflect on the fact that Christ bore the punishment for that sin. He took the punishment you deserved. Do you feel His passionate and specific love for you? He died for you. He was condemned and cursed so that you could go free - He was forsaken by God so that you would never be forsaken (Hebrews 13: 5).

That's what Jesus' death on the cross has to do with our past sexual sin right now.

Taken from BOY MEETS GIRL by Joshua Harris
published by Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
copyrighted 2000, 2005 by Joshua Harris.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


In conjunction with the World Earth Day (22nd April), as a tree-hugger myself, here some tips for my fellow green-lovers. I got all there from the internet. The top part will be the statistics for our Earth condition and the below part are the green-living tips that might help us to survive and provide a better future for the next generation. I am not an environmentalist, as Andrew puts it. I'm just trying to survive and save as many as I can.


Here are the facts, you can be the judge.
1. According to the reports from NASA, the hottest year was 2005, which matched 1998. Twice in the last ten years we've had the hottest temperatures on average ever recorded in our planet's history. That is very likely more than just a coincidence.

2. The rate of warming has accelerated over the past 30 years, increasing at a rate of three times faster than the century-scale trend. Global annual temperatures are now around 1.0 F degrees warmer than they were in 1900.

3. According to an MIT study, there's been a 100% increase in the intensity and duration of hurricanes and tropical storms since the 1970s, most likely due to the increased amount of CO2 emissions to our atmosphere, which has increased the Earth's surface temperature, and warmer weather is believed to increase the intensity of tropical storms and hurricanes.

4. The glaciers in Greenland, Alaska, the Himalaya, the Antarctic Peninsula and on high tropical mountains are retreating rapidly; according to the U.S. Geological Survey predictions, Glacier National Park will have no glaciers left by the year 2030.5. According to the Arctic Climate Impact Assessment, 400,000 square miles of Arctic sea ice have melted, which is threatening polar bear habitats and further accelerating global warming worldwide.

5. That amount of Arctic sea ice is approximately the size of the state of Texas, and we've lost that in just the last 30 years, further emphasizing that we need to take action now before the damage becomes too severe for our efforts to really matter.

6. The sea level has risen by 10-20 cm over the past 100 years, which is likely due to the melting of the polar glaciers, which is due to the increase in the Earth's near-surface temperature. This can lead to devastating effects for coastal communities because the sea level is rising, which means that when the sea comes in-tide, more erosion can occur, and if coastal communities are present, more damage done to them. In addition, losing the glaciers reduces the amount of usable fresh water on our planet.

7. It is also projected that 15-37% of all plant and animal species could be wiped out by global warming by the year 2050, which could further cause considerable damage to our planet's ecosystem.

8. The United States is ranked number#1 among large nations of being a global warming polluter, contributing 25% of emissions, even though the U.S. only makes up 5% of the world's population. NO bills passed by the U.S. Congress to cut global warming pollution.

9. The earliest signs of wrath of the Mother Earth occured by the end of the 20th century. Many people were getting a taste of climate changes: There was a megadrought in the Southwest U.S. from 1849 to 1905, the Dust Bowl of the Great Plains in the 1930s, and a drought in China killed 3 million in the 1940s.


You might want to ask, if the situation is already that bad, whatever minimal actions I do won't help much at all. The truth is, our minimal moves are the ones that caused this, it's the collectiveness of our ignorance that make this happen, and our collective efforts are gonna salvage it. Every little action count.

Check this video out, it's an environmental movement called the Earth Hour, It started in Sydney where the residents work together to save the energy resources of the country, The whole town would switch off all the lights at once for one hour. The results of 10% of energy saved. They targeted for 5%.

So, I am starting my green-living style, taking baby-steps in my daily life. I am not asking you guys to sell off your cars or to take any extreem actions. Start small, it's how a habit is cultivated. Here are some tips that might help you guys.

1. Reduce the use of plastic bags. It is the most authentic way, More than often, I ask the sales person to keep the plastic bags. Bring a long a shopping bag wherever you go, for drivers, keep one in your car, it really comes in handy. For the old plastic bags, keep them, don't throw them away, they make really good gift bags and garbage bag.

2. Recycle! Yep, another classic, you can practically recycle anything at all, recycle the junk mails in your mailbox, the cheap pens that stop working can go in the recycle plastic bin, old clothes can be used as cloth to wipe your car, old socks.

3. Plant a plant~ I've got my pet plant. My dad gave it to me to make my toilet look better, greener. So all I do is just to change the water in the pot once in awhile. It's gorgeous and best of all, it gives out oxygen for CO2.

4. Don't throw away those batteries, they are recycle-able, 'cause I have to use triple A batteries for my mp3 player, I keep all those old, dried up ones. So instead of throwing them away and creating more toxic garbage I give them off to the people who collect old newspapers so they can bring them to the recycle center for me.

5. Turn off the powerpoints, when the plugs are in and the switch is on, the electricity is running, even though it's on stand-by mode, 10% of leakage is happening. So, switch it off, save up! The same go to the lights and air-cons.

6. Empty your glass of water that you can't finish into your humidifier, aquarium or into a pot of plant. Don't waste water.

7. Every gallon of gasoline burned produces 19 pounds of carbon dioxide, so cut down the use of fuel. Don't speed, obey the rules and keep your speed constant. Rapid acceleration and braking can decrease fuel economy by 33%.

8. Keep your shower short. Turn off the water as you brush your teeth or soap your body. It saves a lot of water by doing so. Collectively, so make it a habit.

9. Cut down on meat. Go for the lower food chain. The animal industry uses massive amounts of water and land. Roughly 70 percent of the grains grown in the United States go to feed animals, who eventually become food. This takes up much of the arable land that could be used to feed people directly. It takes ten times the fossil fuels to produce a calorie of animal food as it does to produce plant food.

10. Lastly, be creative. I can't tell you what exactly to do in every situation. So be a smart tree-hugger. Turn down your water heater, inflate your car tyres, iron less, steam your clothes while taking your shower, use eco-friendly detergent, just check out the green living sites and you can get daily tips for green living.

Take note that when IKEA started charging for plastic bags used, they actually cut down the usage by 92%. This strategy is already on full-force in the 7 Elevens and OK Marts in Taiwan when I went there like 5 years ago. This is one good steps to be mentioned and praised.

Thanks for hearing me out. I just thought it might help if this message can be made known to our Malaysians, we're already much left behind in saving the earth. These are some reference sites which I got the informations from. We are not alone, even big

corps are practising green packaging.

1. Green Living tips -
2. Earth Hour official site -
3. Global warming statistics -
4. Global warming statistics 2 -
5. Stop Global Warming Site -

Friday, April 18, 2008

Alex's love story with Archana

We are in the auditorium now waiting for the class to start and Alex saw Edmund and Lala planning each other's death so he decided to reveal his romantic death which he and his wife, Archana is planning. It was very...erm. Unique.

So here's Alex's story, with random interruption from me, the great story teller.


Alex said he's planning a love story death scene beginning from the plot of Titanic, continuing with A Walk To Remember and ending with The Butterfly Lovers 梁祝. It starts with Alex ad Archana going on a cruise . There will be that scene when Archana stands in the front deck of the ship and Alex holding him from behind, and Arhcana saying she thinks she's flying. Then Archana will drop the blue diamond necklace into the ocean when Alex didn't notice and all that. *[But then Eva was very concerned that in the end Alex won't be able to sink into the icy water like Jack did, because Alex kinda had some fat between his skin and muscles. Well, base of the theory that hippos don't sink because they are FAT, so I think that scene will be a lil' hard on Alex's part.]*

Then, thank God for Alex's wit, he decided that it wouldn't go that far so the story will continue with Alex making a telescope for Archana like in A Walk To Remember. The story will be all lovey dovey until Archana finds out that she had leukimia. Alex and Archana then embraces and cry soo soo hard. *[But then Eva suddenly thought of another issue. Due to Alex's extra ordinary body size, he might be blocking too much of the screen and the scene would not be romantic anymore because the audience won't be able to see Archana, who is totally blocked off by Alex.]*

But don't worrry, Alex still has a back up story line. He's going to switch to the ending. Archana suddenly looks like a guy now, with the complete chinese scholar outfit that comes with a hat, a stack of books and the chinese instrument Qin 琴. Alex meets Archana in an old time China school. They soon become friends until one day, Alex and Archana, under unintended circumstances shares a bed. Archana mumbled something in her dreams and Alex thought she need some help taking off something that is on her back. That is when Alex found out that she is using a long cloth to tied up her chest to hide her identity as a woman.

The plot takes a sharp change when Archana was called home by her parents to marry a rich major's son, who is in this case, happen to be Ali. When Alex found out about the engagement he rushed all the way to Archana's hometown to ask for her hand in marriage, but all is too late. Archana's parents forbid them to see each other ever again. Alex's stuborn and undying love only results in getting beaten up by the servants of Archana's father. After that, Alex could scarcely recover from the wounds so he decided to write a love letter for his beloved Archana. While he is writing he got too emotional and vormited blood. He died eventually.

During the day when Arhcana is going marry Ali, the carriage goes about the route to Alex's grave. *[Eva thought the grave must be huge to be able to contain Alex body, and the tombstone won't be any smaller either.]* Then there is this storm that make Archana realize she is near the grave of her fiance. She runs out shouting "Alex, my husband~" , kneeling at the tombstone sobbing her heart out. *[Eva wonders which part of the tombstone, it must be as huge as the Great Wall of China itself.]*

It was then when the tombstone breaks open. *[Eva thanks God it didn't crush poor Archana.]* Archana's tears are washed away by the rain and she jumps into the grave to join her beloved Alex. When all is done, a white light shines out from the grave and two butterflies flew out from the grave. The one which is darker and smaller is the female one, which flew high and away into the skies, while a fair big butterfly is just to huge and heavy to fly. Eva thought she heard Alex's voice calling out to her wife.

----------------------------------------The End-----------------------------------------


Curiousity kills the cat.

Curiousity is turning its cruelty towards me!!! Help~ Alex keep asking me if I'm the blogger for "Dare to Talk Loud". NO! Eva is only faithful to this bloggg!!! MY BLOG. Duh! It bears me's name, for Pete's sake. How could I ever ever have an affair with another blog. Dreadful.

Anyway, the whole thing is making me curious who's the blogger for "Dare to Talk Loud". So if any of my dearest readers know, please tell me. And if I find it any good at all, I'll put that link in here just so my contagious curiousity won't kill you too. =)

So long. See you guys in a while. ^^

With love and a whole lot of curiousity,
P/s: I pledge me allegiance to this blog. I will be faithful and shall not depart from contributing to this blog an this blog only.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thus lay the golden sandal..

Being a princess is no easy job...can't say I'm one, but hey, I ain't have a thing to complain about. Got the car, the house, the gadgets. All I'm waiting for is just for the cute prince to come sweep me off my feet unto the white horse and ride into the marvelous sunset.

In the mean time, I guess I'd still have to do some singing in the small hut in the woods, with my fellow cute animals, a couple of sparrows and a chipmunk, maybe a deer and a few rabbits. It's not easy you know, the waiting part. Nuh-uh, growing the hair and singing the same Except I don't do any of that.

Okay, this is the real part of my fairy tale.

1. I'm eighteen, with quite well-off parents, living in a nice house just slightly away from the buzz of the city.

2. I don't have a chipmunk, but I do have a maid, as tiny as a chipmunk, and as annoying sometimes. Other times, she's great help to me.

3. I don't have any pumpkin-like carriage, but by terms of law, I do have an '96 Audi A4 that can count as a carriage.

4. I have a closet of clothes, not sewn by gifted wild animals, but bought by my parents, my siblings and some by my own salary.

5. I don't go around taking care of dwarfs, cleaning up their hut and arranging 7 beds, but I do teach, a standard 5 kid English and get paid for that.

6. I don't sing "A True Love's Kiss" every morning. But I love singing in church. I'm no opera soprano...more of a guitar person.

7. I don't have soliloque facing the camera, instead I write 'em all down in my blog - which only my friends read.

8. I don't have evil stepmothers or stepsisters, but my parents turn frantic once in a while.

9. When they do, my fairy godmother is always my friends, they're always ready to listen.

10. There's no sad orchestra background music when I cry, only loud pop/rock songs from bands like MCR, Boys like Girls and Dashboard Confessional.

11. The faith in true love's kiss in fairy tales is exactly the type of faith I have for Jesus, my happily ever after.

So if I do sum it all up, I am living in a fairy tale, my fairy tale, would you wanna be a part of it? I caught you peeking a few times, y'know? *winks*


Monday, April 14, 2008

Windbreaker in Multiply!

Hey all,

Eva's got a second home for her blogs now! I first started using multiply last year, mainly for uploading and downloading songs. I hope you guys can check out my sites, all the blogs there are imported from here so it's the same. I uploaded some songs that I really like so hope you guys can go view it. If you like the songs, downloading it is free, all you need to do is to sign up.

Hope to see you guys there. And don't worry, I'm not shutting off this blog. =)

Here's the URL:

If you can't find it, try clicking the link on the right column. ^^ Love y'all!


So that's what they do in the annual dinner...

Well, I found this off dad' camera too. Happens to have some funny pics that caught my eye, just thought of sharing some scraps of my life with my readers. My parents work for an insurance company and every year they get to attend the annual dinner, and people just get to dress up, have fun and all - the insurance people way.

1. First of all, they dig out all their most extravaganza outfits and pick one of the ones.

2. Then they dress up nicely, with all the hairdos and make ups. For my mum, I thank God she stick to the basic black.

3. Oh yea, look at that guy in the picture, he's from the astro singing contest right? Well, they got him to perform there. No big deal though but it amazed me that they would get a TV icon to perform.

4. And they sit around taking photos with girls who are half their age. Just kidding, that's my dad with his colleague's daughter.

5. And they had some female performers as well. Though I can hardly see her face under all those make ups..

6. OOoo...look at that blue eye shadow. O.O"

7. And another TV person. I can still remember this lady in the cartoon outfit doing that commercial.

8. There you go, this is the true reason why people go, for a dozen of trophies ^^. Proud of you guys, mom and dad.

That's all for now, I still have some photoes to upload but maybe tomorrow kay? Still have some assignments to do. Love y'all.


Happy Chinese New Year

This is one photo that I found in dad's digital camera...just thought it looks nice...can actually see the grande living room behind the close up of the plant. Gong Hei Fat Choi =)


This is to reply Francis's comment on my previous post. I cannot promise to be able to be of any help to enlighten you about the "cultural shock" that you are experiencing but I do hope my experience will help you to cope with it.

Well, first of all, we both have similar backgrounds, growing up in the same small town - although none of us think that it is small 'cause it's always so busy and in filled with so many fun things to do. We went to the same schools(yes, from kindy to high school). It was dandy fine with me through the years. I loved cycling around and get pirated VCDs from local illegal stores. They're cheap and good. My only worries seemed to be my daily argument with my siblings, extra allowance for my VCDs, and if I have missed my favourite TV show.

I knew I am gonna move probably during the end of my high school years or maybe after I graduate. I was verbally prepared and the family was happy to say buh-bye to the huge yucky drain right beside our house. I guess my change was worse than Francis's. At least he didn't move or anything. So, I went from super-innocent-nerd-co-ed to highly-complicated-sophisticated-and-filled-with-politics-girls'-school. Mind you, both are the best schools around and thanks to my 138 IQ, I got in.

Except, I have to wake up at 5 in the morning then, so that I can make it in time for my 6 a.m. school bus, and sleep in the bus while the school bus struggle through the early morning minor congestion to school, it usually takes about an hour just to get to school. Back then I only wake up at 6 a.m. to take the 7 a.m. bus, with no air-con, and the windows wide open, I can suck in all the fresh air while taking a cat nap during the ride. And since my temporary house was an apartment, the bus no longer deliver me back to my door steps, I have to walk at least 300m to get to the place where the bus usually stops, in the dark, 'cause the sun is still having its beauty sleep at 5.

And that wasn't the worst part yet, I walk into my new class just to discover that S4F(my class code) is the LAST pure science class. In sarcastic Cantonese, we call these 箩底橙。But, the good point is, they helped my forget about the stress of study as I had more than enough in my plate already. The no-good part was that girls hang out in cliques, and they had already have a steady clique (or a few cliques) through the four years in the school. Me? er...I don't even know the rules, man. I can still remember the girls thought I was a show-off and all that. They only came to know that I am no goody two shoes when I start eating in class, and my seat was just behind the head prefect. She was way to tall and her height is no doubt the greatest cover up anyone can ever ask for.

My form four year actually turned out to be bearable 'cause I hang out with happy happy friends who could make study a funny jolly thing. And it was half a year, no biggie to me. But Eva had to say buh bye to my fun friends to move up to the third class 'cause I 'proved my capability'...=="
The third class was no fun, I tell you. No fun. Fun sucks for them. They would buy a vacuum just to suck all the F, U and N outta you. Well, maybe not all that bad. But one thing I can be sure, their idea of fun is certainly and never will be parallel with my idea of fun.

So I'm gonna start my naming and shaming, I think I still have a few grudges that needs getting over with.

1. The nerds.
Those are the best, and safest people to hang out with. I love them, they are great help and are actually sincerely kind to you. They are those who puts studies in front of everything else, mostly because a number of them need to get some good scholarship to help them in the future. No hard feelings, but for such hardworking people to end up in the third class, they are not as intelligent, 'cause smart people with that kinda commitment, we have another term for them, we call them genius. Nerds are great people, but the English word make them sound less than who they are. Chinese call them scholars, 文人。They rate about 2 in the fun-o-meter, which means, most of them find no joy in everything, except their homework and text books. 0 risk takers, they don't try, think or even have illusion of breaking, bending or avoiding the law, so they can help you with academic stuffs only. These people practically faints in social crisis.

2. The promiscuous girls.
Oh yea, they are great fun and huge risk takers. Most of them don't appear in the 3rd class though, but we know them. You know, girls, rumours, I can tell you something, where girls are involved, news can spread like wild fire. Tonnes of hormon raging girls trapped in a place with no beings of opposite gender of same species is dangerous. They know all the boy's name and most of the time are taken. Their relationship status changes as frequently as the positions of stars in the night sky - if you can see them despite the pollution. One more thing though, the looks...don't really matter. Most of them look normal, but with the make-ups and minus the uniform..hmm. But some dinosaurs join the game too. They are great help in academy too, really, they know all the shortcuts. And socially, they are rather dangerous. Their network is highly broad, you just have to know that you need tobe careful with their friends who gives you funny looks.

3. The lesbians.
In other words, the mentally impaired and socially confused. Some lesbos are very much obvious. They looks like baddies in girl's school uniforms. Extremely short spikey boyish hair, no breasts and walk with their leg wide open to display their Those are the safe lesbians, you just have to make it clear that you are not interested in dating people unsure of their gender and they'd treat you like a sister, except, they want to be your brother. The other type of lesbo are those who are highly disturbed. 'Highly' because they must have been through a lot to have such perverted views in these young ages. They might still have boy friends out there somewhere while dating girls in the school. They would cry and overwork their brain with extreme emotions. Their sexuality doesn't directly influence their social behaviour as they can fall into two or more catogeries. But please be very careful not to be pulled into the vortex by sharing their feelings.

4. The happy people.
These are the semi-s too. Most of them are semi-happy people, as most happy ones are a mix of two categories, e.g. Promiscuous + Happy. The happy ones is no help at all when bad things happen. They are 100% carefree and do not give a darn on anything that might ruin their mood. Everything is a no big deal. They are fun to be with when you're in a cheerful mood. Their intelligence may rank from 0-10. Risk-o-meter is a definite 10. They would burn the school if that makes them happy. WOHOO~

5. The shh....
The mystery people.Hmm. Surprisingly, a lot of them are not loners. They come with the clique too, they are the quiet ones. No much to reveal in their backgrounds, no emotional break down, no extreme change in academic, no problems in school so no shortcuts or any help in academic side. But most of them are quite widely known. They keep a high-low-profile, they are those who keep low profiles but are highly tracked down.

6. The Haiyak!
The manly ones. They might be crossovers of lesbos but some are just manly and not lesbos. Good in sports and hold high positions. Stern in their own fields. They know how their thing goes and are great help when you need some tips on the fields that they are familiar with. If you wanna be friends with them, you have to blend in real well with their wide social circle. Meaning, you have to be a social all-rounder, if not, you are just one of their acquaintance.

7. The scary people
These can be put into two clear divisions. The academic bullies and the social bullies. The social bullies are those who you should stay away from. They can really bring you down. Pretty girls with wonderful skin and figure. They would treat you like a sister during probation. If one fails to gain acknowledgement from them, she will be socially stripped of her privilege - at least until she recovers. Or if she is desparate to maintain her rank, she would have to be the slave of the Queenbee. To ride on the reputation of the Queenbee but under the strict social control. The academic bullies are those who excels very much in their studies. Refuse to share their source of intelligence and often laying pressures on things like greds and future plannings. They can simply narrate the contents of the text books with no difficulties. Most of them question the existence of God.

8. The socially versatiles
There are very few of these although many claims to be one. She would be the one who knows all the cliques an keeps her cool. The most neutral character, the one who know where to get help but most of the time doesn't need it. Clear and confident of her identity, not overwhelm by any cliques. Can't be of much help 'cause her priority is to maintain social security, but she would know all the other people who can help.

Of course this is a very long list that I can't finish in just an hour or so. So, well, you just need to know where're your heading and what you want outta the situation you are in right now. Innocence is not an excuse for one to stay static in his socially growth. It is up to one's perrception and intellect to determine his roles and play it well.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.

I guess forgetting to think about someone is a gradual process. I won't say it has been going on for two certainly did not seem that long. He's a habit, just like some people bite their nails, I would just so unconsciously drift my thoughts to him. He's my daily prayer item. Let him be well and happy. Let his family be close and always harmonious. May his studies be fine and may he find favour in God's eyes. Amen.

We had not seen each other for months. Haven't had a conversation for months as well. But there is no doubt that I miss him and will always do. I would wind down the car window to say good morning when I pass his old apartment. I can always recall him calling me after I had turned to leave and said a quiet "take care." How I wish time would just go round replaying the happy moments. Under such desparate disconnection from the outside world, we had been friends and always had our small talks. May it be under his sympathy or just to keep track that I stay faithful as a fellow sister. It was a memory worth keeping for me.

Maybe we will meet again. It would probably be another farewell, off to the states, half a globe away. Or will I miss it like I did during his last one. We will part as friends. Soon I would depart too, for some other journey of my own. An opposite direction of where you'd be heading. Would my dependent on you be clearer in our regret...

My memories in you might fade and soon this habit might go away. But before it does, I want to treasure every moment we can have. To wake up in the weekends thinking of you is like a scent of spring in the morning. May I find joy in you, a thought that keeps me smiling.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

a girl should just be a girl

I just suddenly think that sometimes they should just let a girl be a girl. A simpleton. In the sense that no big troubles, just smooth sailing all the way. No, it is not reasonable for others to take on the burden just so the girl can be all cheerful and happy-go-lucky. But everyone should try to keep the innocent pure, the first love and passion clean.

No pretence please. in the world today, people would wanna be like Avril Lavigne, or Beyonce, maybe some wants the lime light of Britney. But no, not those heavily drawn eye liner, not the sexy outfit and outrageous actions can overthrow the inner person. But what's the point. Sometimes we just want to fit in. Blend in and be invisible. I don't get why we can be so insecure sometimes and so overwhelm by our own self esteem other times.

I blame them on the hormons. Weird stuff, hormons...they can just get your head up in the air for a mo' and the next second you will be hitting hard on the tar road. Hmm...I saw my course mate in one of those internet network social website. In her pictures she stares at the camera. And the name she chose to put on was a rather obvious attempt to project the attitude or character of so called emo, or rebel, perhaps a certain amount of darkness. The way she talks and her tone had an obvious shift from her previous way of conduct.

It hurts to see that people in the world are trying to be more of the world. And it hurts even more to see that sometimes, I myself am trying to be so too. I should know better, know that I am different. We are in the world but not of the world. All things shall come to past and only the word of God will remains. All things shall come to past, insecurities, depression, insult, verbal abuse, naming and shaming, death and life, love and all that that comes with it. I shall come to past, all my sins and all my dreams. He had signed his name over mine. We shall embrace and cry, for all He had done. What more can I ask?

So for now, I ask for peace. Claiming His promises that I shall find peace in Him. All shall come to past. Amen.

-peace. ty -

Thursday, April 3, 2008


无题 (其一)
作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【闺情】

1.无题:唐代以来,有的诗人不愿意标出能够表示主题的题目时,常用“ 诗的标题。

这是诗人以“无题”为题目的许多诗歌中最有名的一首寄情诗。整首 诗的内容围绕着第一句,尤其是“别亦难”三字展开。“东风”句点了时节,但 更是对人的相思情状的比喻。因情的缠绵悱恻,人就像春末凋谢的春花那样没了 生气。三、四句是相互忠贞不渝、海誓山盟的写照。五、六句则分别描述两人因 不能相见而惆怅、怨虑,倍感清冷以至衰颜的情状。唯一可以盼望的是七、八两 句中的设想:但愿青鸟频频传递相思情。


更加使人伤感。 春蚕结茧到死时丝才吐完,
来往传递消息. 题解就诗而论,




死生寂寞旧思缘, 春梦缠绵花落寒。
能舞清风挥碧影, 难留旧月照栏杆。
伤心本为痴痴怨, 愁怅何须窃窃瞒?
海誓山盟空相许, 真情尽处亦云烟!

执手还须道珍重, 此情尽处也温柔。
你心你情终易换, 我爱我恨本难求。
昨日尚是无猜引, 今朝已成陌路由。
梦魂如化相思鸟, 日夜悲啼死不休!

谁道相思苦滋味, 谁言恨事本天成!
心坚何惧无情雨, 魂断岂堪憔悴风。
梦里月圆香雾绕, 云端花好紫烟轻。
无缘今世成相许, 或待重逢任死生!

余香往事梦中休, 玉影芳踪难去留。
自古相思一样苦, 从来离散两般愁。
情能深处忧还喜, 恨至多时淡且稠。
独对月明应寂寞, 问卿何处过中秋。

写赋空多子建才, 应知神洛是天仙。
无情花落人争爱, 有意草幽谁弃怜。
书简情深羞不语, 荔枝香尽恨难言。
温柔若假还真日, 莫在别时也问缘!

记否桂花香脉时, 当年笑我是情痴。
诗如笔底相思泪, 泪若心头无语诗。
错把绝情归信误, 漫将失意做新知。
嫦娥未必曾秋水, 柳月何须似画眉。



来是空言去绝踪, 月斜楼上五更钟。
梦为远别啼难唤, 书被催成墨未浓。
蜡照半笼金翡翠, 麝薰微度绣芙蓉。
刘郎已恨蓬山远, 更隔蓬山一万重。
飒飒东风细雨来, 芙蓉塘外有轻雷。
金蟾啮锁烧香入, 玉虎牵丝汲井回。
贾氏窥帘韩掾少 ,泌妃留枕魏王才。
相思莫共花争发, 一寸相思一寸灰。

含情春畹晚, 暂见夜阑干。
去见意中人时, 已春深日暮。
楼响将登怯, 帘烘欲过难。
多羞钗上燕, 真愧镜中鸾.
归去横塘晚, 华星送宝鞍。

何处哀筝随急管, 樱花永巷垂杨岸。
东家老女嫁不售, 白日当天三月半,
溧阳公主年十四, 清明暖后同墙看。
归来展转到五更, 梁间燕子闻长叹

作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【五古】 类别:【未知】


作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【未知】


【注释】: 莫愁:泛指少女。典出梁萧衍《河中之水歌》:“河中之水向东流,洛阳女儿名莫愁。”
【简析】: 第一首似写一位女性在怀思所爱。写深夜难眠还在缝制罗帐,回忆起当时偶遇的情景。及写渴望和惆怅的心情,期待着有机缘能再相遇。也可以从男性的角度作拟女方的解释。第二首,写少女醒后细品梦中的情景,必然若失,徒自伤感,并表示为了爱情甘愿受折磨,决心追求幸福。 李商隐的七律无题,艺术上最成熟,最能代表其无题诗的独特艺术风貌。这两首七律无题,内容都是抒写青年女子爱情失意的幽怨,相思无望的苦闷,又都采取女主人公深夜追思往事的方式,因此,女主人公的心理独白就构成了诗的主体。她的身世遭遇和爱情生活中某些具体情事就是通过追思回忆或隐或显地表现出来的。


接下来是女主人公的一段回忆,内容是她和意中人一次偶然的相遇——“扇裁月魄羞难掩,车走雷声语未通。”对方驱车匆匆走过,自己因为羞涩,用团扇遮面,虽相见而未及通一语。从上下文描写的情况看,这次相遇不象是初次邂逅,而是“断无消息”之前的最后一次照面。否则,不可能有深夜缝制罗帐,期待会合的举动。正因为是最后一次未通言语的相遇,在长期得不到对方音讯的今天回忆往事,就越发感到失去那次机缘的可惜,而那次相遇的情景也就越加清晰而深刻地留在记忆中。所以这一联不只是描绘了女主人公爱情生活中一个难忘的片断,而且曲折地表达了她在追思往事时那种惋惜、怅惘而又深情地加以回味的复杂心理。起联与颔联之间,在情节上有很大的跳跃,最后一次照面之前的许多情事(比如她和对方如何结识、相爱等)统统省略了。 颈联写别后的相思寂寥。和上联通过一个富于戏剧性的片断表现瞬间的情绪不同,这一联却是通过情景交融的艺术手法概括地抒写一个较长时期中的生活和感情,具有更浓郁的抒情气氛和象征暗示色彩。

两句是说,自从那次匆匆相遇之后,对方便绝无音讯。已经有多少次独自伴着逐渐黯淡下去的残灯度过寂寥的不眠之夜,眼下又是石榴花红的季节了。“蜡炬成灰泪始干”,“一寸相思一寸灰”,那黯淡的残灯,不只是渲染了长夜寂寥的气氛,而且它本身就仿佛是女主人公相思无望情绪的外化与象征。石榴花红的季节,春天已经消逝了。在寂寞的期待中,石榴花红给她带来的也许是流光易逝、青春虚度的怅惘与伤感吧?“金烬暗”、“石榴红”,仿佛是不经意地点染景物,却寓含了丰富的感情内涵。把象征暗示的表现手法运用得这样自然精妙,不露痕迹,这确实是艺术上炉火纯青境界的标志。 末联仍旧到深情的期待上来。“斑骓”句暗用乐府《神弦歌·明下童曲》“陆郎乘斑骓……望门不欲归”句意,大概是暗示她日久思念的意中人其实和她相隔并不遥远,也许此刻正系马垂杨岸边呢,只是咫尺天涯,无缘会合罢了。末句化用曹植《七哀》“愿为西南风,长逝入君怀”诗意,希望能有一阵好风,将自己吹送到对方身边。李商隐的优秀的爱情诗,多数是写相思的痛苦与会合的难期的,但即使是无望的爱情,也总是贯串着一种执着不移的追求,一种“春蚕到死丝方尽,蜡炬成灰泪始干”式的真挚而深厚的感情。希望在寂寞中燃烧,我们在这首诗中所感受到的也正是这样一种感情。这是他的优秀爱情诗和那些缺乏深挚感情的艳体诗之间的一个重要区别,也是这些诗尽管在不同程度上带有时代、阶级的烙印,却至今仍然能打动人们的一个重要原因。

比起第一首,第二首更侧重于抒写女主人公的身世遭遇之感,写法也更加概括。一开头就撇开具体情事,从女主人公所处的环境氛围写起。层帷深垂,幽邃的居室笼罩着一片深夜的静寂。独处幽室的女主人公自思身世,辗转不眠,倍感静夜的漫长。这里尽管没有一笔正面抒写女主人公的心理状态,但透过这静寂孤清的环境气氛,我们几乎可以触摸到女主人公的内心世界,感觉到那帷幕深垂的居室中弥漫着一层无名的幽怨。 颔联进而写女主人公对自己爱情遇合的回顾。上句用巫山神女梦遇楚王事,下句用乐府《神弦歌·清溪小姑曲》:“小姑所居,独处无郎。”意思是说,追思往事,在爱情上尽管也象巫山神女那样,有过自己的幻想与追求,但到头来不过是做了一场幻梦而已;直到现在,还正象清溪小姑那样,独处无郎,终身无托。这一联虽然用了两个典故,却几乎让人感觉不到有用典的痕迹,真正达到了驱使故典如同己出的程度。特别是它虽然写得非常概括,却并不抽象,因为这两个典故各自所包含的神话传说本身就能引起读者的丰富想象与联想。两句中的“原”字、“本”字,颇见用意。前者暗示她在爱情上不仅有过追求,而且也曾有过短暂的遇合,但终究成了一场幻梦,所以说“原是梦”;后者则似乎暗示:尽管迄今仍然独居无郎,无所依托,但人们则对她颇有议论,所以说“本无郎”,其中似含有某种自我辩解的意味。不过,上面所说的这两层意思,都写得隐约不露,不细心揣摩体味是不容易发现的。 颈联从不幸的爱情经历转到不幸的身世遭遇。这一联用了两个比喻:说自己就象柔弱的菱枝,却偏遭风波的摧折;又象具有芬芳美质的桂叶,却无月露滋润使之飘香。

这一联含意比较隐晦,似乎是暗示女主人公在生活中一方面受到恶势力的摧残,另一方面又得不到应有的同情与帮助。“不信”,是明知菱枝为弱质而偏加摧折,见“风波”之横暴;“谁教”,是本可滋润桂叶而竟不如此,见“月露”之无情。措辞婉转,而意极沉痛。 爱情遇合既同梦幻,身世遭逢又如此不幸,但女主人公并没有放弃爱情上的追求——“直道相思了无益,未妨惆怅是清狂。”即便相思全然无益,也不妨抱痴情而惆怅终身。在近乎幻灭的情况下仍然坚持不渝的追求,“相思”的铭心刻骨更是可想而知了。 中唐以来,以爱情、艳情为题材的诗歌逐渐增多。这类作品在共同特点是叙事的成份比较多,情节性比较强,人物、场景的描绘相当细致。李商隐的爱情诗却以抒情为主体,着力抒写主人公的主观感觉、心理活动,表现她(他)们丰富复杂的内心世界。而为了加强抒情的形象性、生动性,又往往要在诗中织入某些情节的片断,在抒情中融入一定的叙事成分。这就使诗的内容密度大大增加,形成短小的体制与丰富的内容之间的矛盾。为了克服这一矛盾,他不得不大大加强诗句之间的跳跃性,并且借助比喻、象征、联想等多种手法来加强诗的暗示性。这是他的爱情诗意脉不很明显、比较难读的一个重要原因。但也正因为这样,他的爱情诗往往具有蕴藉含蓄、意境深远、写情细腻的特点和优点,经得起反复咀嚼与玩索。


作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【未知】

【注释】: 刘郎,相传东汉明帝永平五年刘晨、阮肇入山采药,迷不得出,遇二女子,邀至家留居半年才还,后人以此典喻艳遇。蓬山,即蓬莱山,泛指仙境。韩寿,晋人,司空贾充的僚属,充每在家聚会,贾女从窗格中偷窥,见其貌美而爱之,与私通,充发觉后乃以妻寿。宓妃留枕:曹植《洛神赋·序》:“黄初三年,作朝京师,还济洛川。古人有言,斯水之神,名曰宓妃。感宋玉对楚王神女之事,遂作斯赋。”植过洛水时,忽见一女子来,赠所用枕。宓妃,传说中伏羲氏之女。

【简析】: 第一首是情诗,写与情人别离后的思念。始从觉醒的甜梦中醒来觉得怅然若失,回忆起梦中依依惜别的情景,又匆忙地写信给她。从借用刘郎的典故,显见今后要再会是几乎不可能了。第二首也是情诗,但比较隐晦、深沉而痛苦,结尾二句为千古佳句,引人共鸣。

作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【未知】

【注解】: 1、画楼、桂堂:都是比喻富贵人家的屋舍。 2、灵犀:旧说犀牛有神异,角中有白纹如线,直通两头。 3、送钩:也称藏钩。古代腊日的一种游戏,分二曹以较胜负。把钩互相传送后,藏于一人手中,令人猜。 4、分曹:分组。 5、射覆:在覆器下放着东西令人猜。分曹、射覆未必是实指,只是借喻宴会时的热闹。 6、鼓:指更鼓。 7、应官:犹上班。 8、兰台:即秘书省,掌管图书秘籍。李商隐曾任秘书省正字。这句从字面看,是参加宴会后,随即骑马到兰台,类似蓬草之飞转,实则也隐含自伤飘零意。

【韵译】: 昨夜星光灿烂,夜半却有习习凉风; 我们酒筵设在画楼西畔、桂堂之东。 身上无彩凤的双翼,不能比翼齐飞; 内心却象灵犀一样,感情息息相通。 互相猜钩嬉戏,隔座对饮春酒暖心; 分组来行酒令,决一胜负烛光泛红。 可叹呵,听到五更鼓应该上朝点卯; 策马赶到兰台,象随风飘转的蓬蒿。

【评析】: 所谓“无题”诗,历来有不同看法:有人认为应属于寓言,有人认为都是赋本事 的。就李商隐的“无题”诗来看,似乎都是属于写艳情的,实有所指,只是不便说出 而巳。 此诗是追忆所遇见的艳情场景。先写筵会时地;接着写形体相隔,人情相通;再 写相遇的情意绵绵;最后写别后离恨。艳丽而不猥亵,情真而不痴癫。

【注释】: 送钩,古代宴会中的一种游戏,把钩在暗中传递,让人猜在谁手中,猜不中就罚酒。射覆,古代的一种游戏,在器皿下覆盖东西让人猜。兰台,即秘书省,掌管图书秘籍,时李商隐任秘书省正字。

作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【未知】
何处哀筝随急管, 樱花永巷垂杨岸。
东家老女嫁不售, 白日当天三月半。
溧阳公主年十四, 清明暖后同墙看。
归来展转到五更, 梁间燕子闻长叹。
时予以悼亡日近, 不去,因寄。

谢傅门庭旧末行, 今朝歌管属檀郎。
更无人处帘垂地, 欲拂尘时簟竟床。
嵇氏幼男犹可悯, 左家娇女岂能望?
愁霖腹疾俱难遣, 万里西风夜正长。





无题 作者:【李商隐】 年代:【唐】 体裁:【七律】 类别:【闺情】


1.无题:唐代以来,有的诗人不愿意标出能够表示主题的题目时,常用“ 无题”作诗的标题。
2.丝方尽:丝,与“思”是谐音字,“丝方尽”意思是除非死了,思念才 会结束。

这是诗人以“无题”为题目的许多诗歌中最有名的一首寄情诗。整首 诗的内容围绕着第一句,尤其是“别亦难”三字展开。“东风”句点了时节,但 更是对人的相思情状的比喻。因情的缠绵悱恻,人就像春末凋谢的春花那样没了 生气。三、四句是相互忠贞不渝、海誓山盟的写照。五、六句则分别描述两人因 不能相见而惆怅、怨虑,倍感清冷以至衰颜的情状。唯一可以盼望的是七、八两 句中的设想:但愿青鸟频频传递相思情。


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