You know what.. when I finally get to sign in to my private accounts in facebook and my blog and all other wesites that I am familiar with, there is one slight moment when I feel like I am back at home, but then the door opened and closed and some random uni students walk in...reminding me I am not. Thousands miles away from home. I tend to have a weird thought that I have really good recovery system and great protection mechanism in me, get what I mean? Like if I fall down, I don't get the painful feeling for such a long time, and until the pain finally sinks in I am already recovered almost at least 60%. Yea, crap isn't it.
The thing is it's just 2 weeks since I left home, and I am already thinking about planning to go home at the end of this year. I mean, it is february and I am planning november stuff. I don't think the part about leaving my A4 at home even registered in my brain. I know leaving Joshua definitely made a mark somewhere...but I am already anticipating seeing him again, like it is only a day away till I can go home. Anyhow, life in New Zealand is not too bad. My days are practically filled with going to uni, walking, chores, television and proud to say reading chapters of the Bible each day. Though I still can't find any church as vibrant or a church that I can be as "at home with" as TOG, one thing I know for sure is that God has never left me. He has been with me, on the plane, carrying overweight luggages and while I was stumbling all the way to New Zealand.
I miss home. There is no denial of it. Every piece of reminder can practically draw tears to my eyes, like when the sing How Great Is Our God in church last sunday, I was battling tears down my throat. And I keep missing Joshua, the little guy who bring smiles to me even though we have the least means of communication. I know there are years to go, I will have to come back and finish my studies...but I have always have this determination so deeply within me, that this is a journey, I will walk through it in such courage, finish it with grace and go home, bringing pride to all those who are waiting for me. I am just so sure that I will go home, that is the thing that I think about everyday when I walk from home to school and school to home.
Wait for me, will you? I will be home in awhile.
buckets of tears and misses,