I had another session with my mom. I didn't call it an arguement 'cause I stayed quiet. She asked me what do I want. Well, here's my wishlist.
1. I want a Christian family. Whatever I went through could have been the struggle of my forefathers and not mine.
2. I want an understanding Christian parents who knows what I want.
3. I want parents who can sceam with me when I'm happy and not tell me that I'm being immature.
4. I want a father that stay faithful in his marriage.
5. I want a family free from the curse of adultery. Not up to me to bear the burden so my children will stay pure.
6. I want a home free from statue that brought me nightmare.
7. I want a new cellphone which my dad buy for me. Not a cheap meal for my good results in major exams.
8. I want people to give me directions when I am lost. Not to make me more confuse.
9. I want them to stop telling me I am responsible for my life. I need guidance, not burden.
10. I want another part time job, which will help me make money so that I can get things that I want.
11. I want to be someone who doesn't need to get a part-time job because my parents refuse to help me out.
12. I want to better manage my finance.
13. I want to feel home when I come home, not a big house with conflicts.
14. I want to babble to my parents about my day, I want them to listen amusingly like they were when I was five.
15. I want parents that don't talk so matter-of-fact-ly.
16. I want to be able to tell my parents my exam dates because I know they will be there to give my all the moral support I need. Not myself making up a mental picture.
17. I want an mp3 which is not a free gift from the insurance company which my parents work for.
18. I want a hug when I am crying. Not "what esle do you want from me?"s.
19. I want dad to say "daddy will be there no matter where u want to go in the future.", not "daddy was too poor to even have the luxury of dreaming, why couldn't you understand."
20. I want parents who would be there whenever I need them to fetch me. Not forget to pick me up after tuition classes.
21. I want a mom who is smart enough to not blame me when there is no fault at all.
22. I want a mom who can take a discussion civilisedly. Not raise her voice and proclaim her misfortune.
23. I want to be not crying right now.
24. I want all these to not happen.
25. I want to turn to Jesus when I am happy. Not when I am broken and in tears. I don't mind turning to Him. But I don't want the heartbreak.
I call Your name, cause it's the sweetest thing I know.