Thursday, June 12, 2008

Last Night

This is the last night I will spend gouging down questions and details to get ready for my last paper. A peculiar paper in my context, having no cases to cite, no quotations to get all flourish with and no long writing to do. What a day I had, I must be tired, and not yet so, there is a long road ahead. My robust spirit would not allow me to be tired, I have a long way to go.

What way, then... I have no idea. When will I be leaving, for where and when will I be back? I have never been so unknowing in my life yet I know I am not lost. He is my light, I just have to walk towards Him all the time. When the light gets dimmer, I know I haven't got it right, so I'll turn back to the direction where my light shines. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Trust me when I say I am never so unknowing in my life, I am finishing up an exam which I know not the results, they can either bring me further or pull me down; I am waiting for a scholarship which will provide me a chance, I do not know what will be the outcome; I am heading to somewhere, I do not know where and how can I get there; my sister is quiting her job, she loves it but she quits; my brother is far away, half a globe away, with less words than ever spoke before. Yet I am sure, this is not a free fall.

The Lord is my shepherd, what more can I ask? Jehovah Jireh, He gave me everything in my life. Each day, my first breath reminds me that He had preserved my life, each step, when my foot touch the ground, it reminds me that He had set my foot there. What more can I ask. All sin washed away, all dirt, all past scrape anew. I am clean, I am free, I am new, for You made me so.

You are my joy, You are my tears. You fill my heart with song when You say that You are near. How could this be? For all You've done for me, is that not enough? The abundance overwhelms my simple heart, yet You promise more good to come. You are my tears, when you said to me, Your love is enough, more intimate than lovers, more loving than fathers, who are You? And who am I to be so loved? But as I struggled in tear and dirt, Your spirit came, and wash them all away, You hold me tight in Your arms and assures me it's okay, they have all gone away. I sobbed in Your embrace, who am I to be so loved, my wounds on You and Your joy on I.

I will love You forever and serve You all my life. Cancel all my doubts, O God, and set my heart upon thine. I love You forever, You are my joy, my guidance, my vine.


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