"Oh, so I'm Nancy..."

Quote:
"We've been like Sid and Nancy for months now."
"Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious."
"No I'm Sid."
"Oh, so I'm Nancy..."

. . . . .

Hey I never thought that I would write this letter. But again, I probably wont sent it anyway. I don’t think I ever want anyone to know this. Maybe it’s because we have always been this way.
So here it goes.

I think I changed. And I have never liked changes. I would always look back in my past and wish I hadn’t change at all, it doesn’t matter if it is for the better or for worse. The ironic part is, I have changed things that I don’t want to change and the ones that I want to change remains the same.

For instance, I am not as cheerful and bubbly. Now I think I have this hatred and desire for vengeance boiling inside me. I am less friendly, sometimes I’d rather just be rude and offensive. I think less of good things and trust me, it’s not by choice. Somehow somewhere along the road I lost the longing to be home, the passion for that glimpse of hope and picked up this vulgarly fierce hag. I am sceptical when I should be positive, cruel when I should be nice, tired when I should be energetic. My unshaken faith happens less and less. The change is so evident that I thought someone must have poisoned me. And these are the things that changed.

My fears did not changed. They didn’t even quiver. As if the change in me occurred in a totally different territory. I am still afraid of the dark, keep all the windows and door tightly locked. I still have this warning that rings up telling me I should avoid these boys ‘cause I don’t want to wake up one day, married, and regretting the first moment I open my eyes and see the face of the person sleeping next to me. I am still doubtful of “us”. I still hold on to the belief that you should live like a teenager while you are, doing all the crazy things I did. I hope you are, because I’ll be Jack and you’ll be Eva. But I hope you aren’t because that didn’t last. The other thing that didn’t change is sometimes I still feel like parts of me belong to you, and you to me somehow. It happens once in a while.

I still miss my best friend, unsure of that if I love him. These are the things that changes and did not. I wonder if you would still take me. And if you would, what would I do.

written: 1 week before this post.

Happiness by Choice

Happiness is by choice. If there ever are any valuable lessons that I've learnt in my 21 years of living, this has to be it. I have to admit that I don't always know it. Sometimes I just deny it anyway. But the truth is, as mom get grumpier and dad gets more distracted, these words spoke out to me. I can't be happy unless it is my choice.

The options are I can either take in every critique, scoldings, insults and let them rot in my churning tummy, or I can turn and walk away whistling "for I'm a jolly good fellow..." -because I am.

Anyho, I choose to be happy right this moment. :) With all my clothes that are cute and comfy.

won't hurt if you have some partners in crimes too.

my sunday best

Caleb the rocker. This photo is my favourite from this Sunday. :D

A little comic strip for laughs. Ah I love u Calvin.

Outfit details:

Black cardigan from Glassons

Layered dress - mom's regret buy

Studded flats - Vincci shoes

Birdie necklace from Perpetual Princess by Eelin Ch'ng

Lovely Bones

I just finished watching The Lovely Bones and had at least cried like 3 or 4 times. The movie is just pure beautiful cruelty. I like how Peter Jackson managed to make a murder case and such gruesome heartbreaker into an art. He is a genius.

Susie Salmon was the girl who was murdered and she is brilliant in the movie. And I kind of like her 70's bright and colourful outfits that echoes her personality as the bright passionate girl. The only thing that I cannot fathom is why would I even consider the outfit that was worn by somebody victimized. I definitely don't want to attract any attention in that way.

Anyhow I am kind of in a rush to run some errands so I'll just leave you with some pictures! Note the knitted hat, colourful pants, bell bottom jeans and bits of floral shirt. And the kitted lavender dress plus pink boots!!!! Cute as a button.

The Military Jacket

Hut! Indeed the puffer jacket may be our number one choice for keeping warm, but I am very sure that there is a not-so-new rival in town. I first spotted this amazing piece in one of many Asian magazines that I bought, with cute Japanese girl pairing them with frilly dresses and short skirts. Even though I am a 100% asian girl, I have to admit that I can never work out any cute outfits (proof: I'm selling off that furry dress I got just a couple of days ago). Oh well, I am already very satisfied with the other clothes and shoes that I can wear.

Anyhow, since I've already bought a military styled jacket of my own (as seen in my previous post) from Forever21, I did a little homework of my own. These photos can be found in Onlylady's website, which is all written in mandarin. I personally like Taylor Momsen's ensemble the best.

New Girl In Town

No work today! Yay! I am so grateful that my parents spoils me once in a while when I am on holiday. It helps to make me feel that I didn't actually throw my summer away working for them for all 3 months of my vacation here - even though I do.



So this pretty outfit comprises of all things new except for the vintage belt. Amazing isn't it? Everything look positively vintage! I got this printed tee shopping late one night with mom. I almost didn't get anything but saw it right before Mango closes and grabbed it right away. I am so glad I did. And I just got the skirt and the brogues yesterday from the mall. I think the prints on the skirt is just gorgeous, very Liebemarlene.



Ah...how I miss the cool weather in NZ. Malaysia is heating up as Chinese New Year draw closer. I am very sure it's hotter this year. The weather had gone crazy everywhere. Argh.



Anyhow, I'll come up with more fashion show collage soon :D



Congrates to Jacklyn for the Lookbook.nu invite!



Toodles!